First Kiss
by Falloutthoughts
Summary: Nick Valentine & F!Sole Survivor sit atop the Valentine Detective Agency and reminisce about moments in their lives as they try to solve their own little case - when what their first kiss?
'When was your first kiss? When did you realise you loved him?' These were common enough questions for any couple to receive but when sole had heard them directed at her more recently they had been more behind the question, lurking in the tone of voice or the look in the person's eye. Some people where surprised and curious given the unusual nature of their relationship. Others were personally offended by it. It did get her to thinking though; when 'was' their first kiss? Their first real one anyway. And when did she realise - like really 'understand' and feel that they were in love. That this was the man for her?

The stars where clear in the sky that evening and sole played idly with the empty bottle in her hands. She could remember the first time she'd 'kissed' Nick but it didn't really count, not in her books. It had been fairly recently after they'd settled into a daily routine with the agency. She had gotten up to handle one of her own cases and had kissed him goodbye on the cheek. A chaste, friendly act that had surprised him a little but something he had warmed to. From then on it became just something that they did each time they parted. It was something old-worldly and casual, both familiar and comforting in its simplicity. A way of showing the other that they cared without any expectation or pressure for more. But when did it become more than that? Had it become more than that? Sole was sure it had. She had said the words 'I love you' to Nick several times before even the kisses began. He had said the same back a number of times also but again, it was a plutonic love. The kind of love that close friends or siblings hold for one another and it had commonly been followed by a witty remark or a teasing insult from either of them. But when had holding hands come into it? When had quiet nights of dancing in the silence of a room or the hours spent lost in each other's eyes become a part of this arrangement? She wasn't sure she could remember. She wasn't really sure what counted and what didn't in that sort of 'grey area'.

Her thoughts were disrupted by the opening of the hatch and she turned to make sure it was Nick coming up to join her. One could never be too careful in the Commonwealth these days. She settled when her expectations where confirmed and with a smile he moved over to kiss her cheek before taking up the seat next to her and looking up at the night sky. It was nice. Just sitting like this, the radio playing on a low volume in the background. Sometimes they would talk, sometimes only one would talk and the other would listen. Sometimes not a single word was spoken for the whole time they were up there. This was their time together and despite what cases they had on the go or what drama was stirring up outside they had both agreed to set aside at least one night a week to come up here on top of the agency and just be together. Nothing more. And she loved these nights. They had become as intimate to her as making love – which, wasn't actually a regular act in this relationship but also suited her just fine for her own reasons. She expected that it meant just as much to him given that it was he who started this particular arrangement.

"Nick," she started once he'd sat and gotten himself comfortable. "When was our first kiss?" she asked him interested to know his thoughts on this. If nothing else it would be an indication of when he had fallen for her. She watched as his brows knit together lightly. He didn't respond right away but she could see he was thinking about it, that his thoughts where taking a similar route to the ones she had been contemplating all day.

"And by that you mean 'when did I know I loved you'," he deduced giving her cause to laugh.

"Yes. I've been trying to work it out all day – for me too," she admitted to him because she knew she could. "When things went from comfortable togetherness to romance." She let her head fall back, her eyes reflecting the stars glittering above them and tried to let her heart chose the memory. "It could have been the time Kent had been kidnapped and on that last floor my nerves got the better of me. I was so afraid of what fate awaited us once those elevator doors opened and you didn't say anything, just, took my hand. Gave it a light squeeze to let me know you'd noticed and where there at my back.. I found the strength to move forward."

Nick smiled at the memory. He'd forgotten that one and of course he'd noticed when their eyes fixated emptily into nothingness and their shoulders drew back taught. He was glad to see them relax. "It could have been the time I lost my hat to the wind and you spent the whole night with me trying to find it out in the fens. I knew you were tired from travelling but you didn't even consider the thought of giving it up as lost."

She smiled this time. Of course! His hat was important to him, it completed his outfit – his _identity_. She still remembers the joy he had when they finally found it, well briefly, before that Yao-Guai woke up to the light of her pipboy… It was fun. "It could have been when I experienced my first ever radiation storm. I fell apart at the first splintered crack, that god awful sound.. and you just tucked me under your arm and lead me inside for the closest shelter. You stayed with me the entire night until the storm had passed. Thunder and lightning have never bothered me so much in the past but that.. It brought back every memory and every moment of those long seconds as the sirens blurred and the vault lift took us down underground far too slowly. The bomb.. the cloud.. that horrific wave that drew closer and closer, stripping every tree and house within its path…" She felt that hand again slipping in, in between hers and the bottle she was playing with, the metallic fingers threading themselves between her own digits and simply holding her in comforting reassurance. That was all over now.. And he was here with her in his silent solidarity. It made her heart warm, burning away the gripping chill that had taken it just moments ago. She smiled to him lovingly.

"It could have been," he began, taking his turn in this new game they had found so that she could not be left to linger on the thoughts of a life being brought to its end. "When you overheard one of the Brotherhood Knights giving me a hard time and you decided it would be a good, if self damning, decision to link arms with me for as long as they were around to make that silent display of where your loyalties lay. Heh, I'll never forget the looks on their faces." They had needed her at the time even if they were too proud to admit it out loud. She'd played a dangerous game there and it could have cost her but it also made him feel like he was worth something. Worth fighting for.

"Can't have people treating my robot best friend like that," she commented snootily. It always makes her unhappy to see people treating him like a criminal or a monster when he is a far better man than most. She takes a breath settling herself by looking into his gentle, amber eyes. "It could have been the time I tried to start moving my life forward, letting go of the past and started dating again. That time when I was stood up and you spotted the guy in town when he ought to have been at the bar with me. You came instead so I didn't have to look like a complete looser and spent the evening with me drinking even though you don't really like the taste of the stuff they sell at the Dugout inn. .. Or need to drink," she added as an afterthought. "It turned out to be a really fun night."

He chuckled, they had joked for a while afterwards about their 'unofficial, accidental first date' though he's sure neither of them really viewed it as a legitimate date. He'd made sure their first actual date was far more romantic. "It could have been the time when you went to extremes to afford me more dignity with the tune-ups." He chuckled again when her eyes opened widely and she looked to him with a combination of surprise and intrigue. He knew at the time that it was something that had been gnawing at her but there had never been an appropriate time to bring it up again. It just seemed a bit in the realms of personal drivel. "After you put it bluntly to me I realised after much time and thought afterwards that you were right. I'd always just accepted it since there was no alternative. Got to just going along with it. But it had always been a little embarrassing. I guess that would be the old Nick shining through there. I was happy either way that you cared enough about something so ordinary to get so annoyed about it. Made me feel.. well, made me feel like a person."

"You are a person Nick.." she pressed and he nodded lifting a hand before she could fall into the usual lecture. He knew that, he was just making a point of reference, no need to be grilled 'again'. It was her turn to think of something this time and she took a breath looking up at the sky again, thinking back through the memories to the ones that made her feel the warmest and fuzziest inside. "Mmmm…" She could think of many small things he had done almost every day but nothing that 'topped' the last think that was said. A smirk steadily grew upon his lips at the prospect that she might not be able to come up with anything thus 'him winning' and she raised a finger with a laugh. "No no just, give me a sec. Ok! I could have been, that time when I got to the end of that really rough case. The one with the-" she gestured, still not even able to speak it to this day. Given how much she had gone through with her family, with her son, this case which would have unsettled even the hardiest of people had left its mark on her and deep thought about it would still bring tears to her eyes. Nick nodded with a frown knowing exactly which one she meant and no more wanting to hear it than she wanted to say it. "Yeah. And when you found out what it was all about and why I'd gotten all shut in and depressed. Ellie told me you'd spent over four hours fixing up and cleaning out that old bathtub before boiling up as much water as you could and filling it before coming to get me for this 'surprise' to cheer me up." She smiled at him as he rolled his eyes, knowing he shouldn't be surprised that she'd found out.

"That's the last time I let Ellie in on anything," he commented not at all meaning it. He'd known that long soaks where a luxury she really missed from the old world and she'd commented to him in between hyperventilating that she'd felt just so anxious and unclean about the whole thing so he'd thought it might help. It did a tiny bit, patience and time was seeing to the rest.

"I wasn't in the right mind to show it at the time but I really appreciated it," she continued. "And how you stayed with me afterwards, holding me close and just.. talking. Bits of stories, old tales of things you'd seen and dealt with in the past, silly stories that made me laugh. Everything, even after you probably thought I'd fallen to sleep. And then when I woke up expecting you'd have gotten bored with nothing to do and gone back to work it turned out that you were still there. I didn't feel so lonely then.." She felt his arm move from her hand to wrap around her shoulder and she shifted to rest her form against him and closed her eyes. For a man made of metal he was very comfortable and warm. If you listened hard enough in a moment of complete quiet you could sometimes make out the ticking of his machinery working away.

"It could have been," he began, his voice taking a softer and more serious air. "When I was lost to the pains of the past and you were the only one to see beyond the front I presented on the outside. It could have been when you approached me privately one afternoon whilst Ellie was out and touched my cheek so gently… and I realised that I didn't have to worry about showing such pains to you."

She frowned knowing well which time he was talking about. That was going back some years now. She lifted a hand and rubbed his chest and belly with the palm soothingly. "You mean when you told me that it was approaching the anniversary of when Nick proposed to Jenny," she stated quietly knowing that it was a pain that would never go away, just one that she hoped would be easier to handle with time.

He nodded once. He knew that these were Nick's memories and not his own but it was still difficult to differentiate in the moment sometimes. "I would brood on that for days the same time every year until you found an alternative and brought me up here for the evening – an evening dedicated to their memory, I believe you called it. We spent the whole time talking and you found that pack of fine cigars. They were pretty good actually. It's what made me want to continue these evenings even though it was a few months until I plucked up the courage to ask you."

They both lapsed into a natural silence at that, both coming to similar conclusions. The clue was in his words – 'months until I plucked up the courage to ask you'. He'd been afraid of rejection. Despite that they had been through so much together, had kissed, played and disregarded one another's personal spaces for years he had felt himself, at that point in particular, reach the edge of something. A whole new boundary that he wasn't sure could be pushed. Thinking about it she could remember him offering and she had felt a faint flush on her cheeks as the air had just felt heavier somehow in that moment and as if her answer opened a door she hadn't even realised was there prior. Both had chosen to walk through that door and here, on the roof of the agency, beneath the stars with the radio playing quietly in the background they had danced, they had laughed, they had kissed. And that kiss had been a moment in paradise.

It seemed so obvious now, looking at it, but at the time things had just evolved so naturally than neither of them had even given it much thought. It just felt like it had always been that way, that there had never been a time when the two wouldn't be considered as one. She rested her head to him more, riding the waves of euphoria that came with the joy of loving him and feeling his arm tighten around her body. That was when. That was when they shared their first kiss.


End file.
